Awaken In Color
Life, now in ColorHear My Thoughts In Every Note
Read an article about why it’s good to write often, and felt inspired to make a post. Even though I’ve already got a tumblr. Guess I’m more of a word person after all.
Last night, Granny tried to get me to eat fish balls.. And then I realized she was aging.. It was one of those moments where you already knew something, but it finally chose to “shout” out at you. Don’t know if you get what I mean.
She’s also starting to have poorer memory. Sometimes it’s painful to watch.. but I keep it to myself. I read that old people are sensitive when you tell them not to be so forgetful. I really hope she will open up and know God.. God give me patience to listen and be a good testimony for you.
Sometimes I wonder how life be without her. I know it’s grim, but the thoughts come every now and then. Would I choose live alone, or live with my mom/dad?
Pride really kills communication between people. It can cause some to wall up their hearts, stop learning new things, because they believe they already have the right answer. It turns a reply from an “I understand” to a “But …”
It mutes the voices of others and amplifies our own in our head. It shuts off our sense of reason, and replaces it with our personal sense of judgement. It tilts us to think with our emotions over our minds. No wonder pride leads to all sins. We stop listening to God, and to ourselves instead.
Back From Hiatus
About a year ago in my last blogpost, I said we should never be afraid to fall and make mistakes.
If we make mistakes, we can just choose to stand up again. Sometimes it takes alot of humility to say “I am in the wrong”. That is how God breaks our pride and mold us. This is how we grow. Making mistakes is really part of life.
If we are afraid of what will happen when we fall, we’ll never learn to walk, which effectively stops us from learning how to run.
The best part from that fall? Knowing that God is always there to hold us up, if we choose to to rise from it again. And that after each fall, we learn to run further than we did before the fall.
Well, a year has passed. As I look back at my posts, I began to realise how things have changed. To be honest with myself, I think I still struggle with making mistakes. It’s a battle in my head over that choice I make. I have a tendency to imagine how others would feel, and if I feel that the thing I might be doing is a mistake and will cause others to have a negative feeling towards it, I pull myself to a stop.
Oversensitive? Maybe.. I definitely need to learn to rely more on God in this area.
In a month’s time, I’m finally going to ORD from the army. Can’t wait to get back my freedom and time.. These 2 years didn’t go in vain. In fact, I felt that I’ve learned much more in these 2 years, than my last 19 years. God really gave me an opportunity to see and learn how to be a leader, both in the house of God, and in the world. I’ve got a feeling it’s not going to end here, but much more will come. I think God is really just warming me up these 2 years for the bigger tests.. haha.
Running with the horses and being the clay in the Potter’s hands. Keep molding me into a vase, a vessel of honor for you God.
Don’t Hold Ground, Take Ground.
It’s been a long time since I’ve wrote something here. Blogging is a dying trend now. Everyone just tweets now.. Haha.
Life has been good. I’m entering my 6th month of NS soon. Good news is by next month, I’ll be having my 8-5 posting. Which means I’d be able to really serve in church again.
Many things have happened, both good and bad. But all these have made me much closer to God and more reliant on the HS.
Through this, I feel a little older. A little wiser. I’m no longer a “teen”, but a “TY” now. Haha.
Made a decision to rise up as a Man. To be unafraid of making choices. To be more decisive on the bigger issues. And to take responsibility for the choices I make. There’s no gain in sitting on the fence, waiting for the 100% true and right decision to pass by. Because sometimes there isn’t always a perfect answer, or solution that we can come up with our own.
If that is so, we would be God right? =)
It’s human to err and to be imperfect.
2 Cor 12:9
“9But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
If we make mistakes, we can just choose to stand up again. Sometimes it takes alot of humility to say “I am in the wrong”. That is how God breaks our pride and mold us. This is how we grow. Making mistakes is really part of life.
If we are afraid of what will happen when we fall, we’ll never learn to walk, which effectively stops us from learning how to run.
The best part from that fall? Knowing that God is always there to hold us up, if we choose to to rise from it again. And that after each fall, we learn to run further than we did before the fall.
Stepping up, Taking charge.
Darren
Pledge
Anyone still remember this song? This is so retro man! Thought I wouldn’t find it on Youtube. Hahaha.
Today was Pledge Day. Had a little struggle at first, but God spoke to me during worship to give an even bigger amount. Was just thinking how to fulfill it as I wrote down the amount. But amazingly, I knew what I had to do by the time I finished writing the details. Felt really happy as I dropped the pledge card into the envelope. Pastor How’s sermon was just powerful.
Was very amazed by Kenneth during service. Halfway through service, he turned to me to show me his notebook. He wrote down every point Pastor said, and even seemed to have his own notes inside too. Awhile later, I glanced at his notebook again. He already filled up his entire first page before the bible study. So impacted by his hunger.
Anyone interested in watching Surrogates? Feels like eternity since I stepped into a cinema. Arghh..
Battles In The Mind
I’m glad I have another afternoon to my civilian life before my book-in later. Haha.
It’s been 3 weeks into army life, and I just had a little taste of what this place is like. I really thought I’d survived the 2 weeks confinement without much hiccups, but I have to say I nearly went crazy last Sunday. I really started to miss Bzone. Our services. The presence of God in our praise & worship. I miss sleeping at 4am. I miss eating with you guys.
I guess a good thing I took from army is that I really treasure every moment I get to spend with people now. It’s what keeps me going. I really don’t get how my army friends can survive when they just sleep their bookouts through.
Just remembered Lixing said you always have to exercise your mind in the army, cause there’s alot of physical work, but no mental work. And one of my friend in my section sets his watch to 6 hours ahead, so that he always needs to think when he sees the time. Haha. Found that quite cool.
Reading the Battlefield of the Mind. Our minds are such a powerful tool. That’s why it’s so prone to the devil’s attacks. Whatever thoughts that we do not hold, we will lose it. So if we do not consciously hold on the positive, we will lose it, and leave space for the devil to attack. That’s why reading the bible is so important. We will not always have positive thoughts to think about, but God’s Word is timeless and powerful.
Rom 10:17
So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.
So much more I want to say, but I really need to leave the house now. Till then. Laters!
Morning Muses.
It’s 6.25am and I still have a video to finish before service starts. This week is really crazy. Chionging out the design for Pastor’s birthday present, doing post pro, going back to designing, going for choir prac, talking to people, and trying not to KO in front of the computer desk.
Feel really stretched physically. I wish I had more than 24 hrs a day, or not need to sleep. Haha.
I think i’ll take a power nap first…to be continued
No Boundaries
Heard this song from Joanne’s blog, but didn’t know the name. Just happens Ting Wei is going crazy over this song now, and I recognized it as the same song. Haha.
I love my life.
Army is coming soon. Gonna train up for my napfa and pass it!
I realise how off tracked I can get sometimes. Was doing things for the wrong reasons. Now I understand..
Excited about life.. I really want growth.
Think I’m gonna fast this week.
loving life. loving God. loving people.
Remembering the Promise.
In slightly more than a week’s time, Lasalle term would be starting again. The second picture was our first assignment from Gnanamary, to introduce ourselves to her.
I can’t help feeling slightly poignant and strange. I still remember my lessons, my works, what some teachers said. Yet it still feels so unreal to be not a student there physically anymore.
Dahlia and Sawn. Though Sawn wasn’t really my teacher, he really gave me a vibe like Dahlia, whenever I see him in I.Studies. Haha. They are the nicest teachers around. They really connect with the students and stay positive, encouraging the students to do better. They strike me as very real teachers, with great insights about arts.
Gnanamary. A teacher that fights for her students, but also against those she feels are not worth fighting for. She strike me as a very real person. I can never forget the 3 hour sitting down with her and my aunt.
It’s when you know that you’re going to have opinions being forced into you, yet they goad you on to feel that your opinion matters. To put it bluntly, they trapped me inside there for 3 hours to believe all the negative things my aunt has got to say. It was really off the line, when it got to their own opinion of my father and mother.
I hope I won’t get her as my tutor when I get back to Lasalle.
Regardless of all that.. a brief year in Lasalle really allowed me to have a deeper look into myself and whetted my appetite for arts. It’s been a rocky journey, but I’m determined to finish what I started there. My only cry is that I’ll be 21 when I go in again.
And this time, I’m really going to get my film into being shown at Japan for Pocketfilms Festival.
Tenacity,
Darren
Snippets
This post is long overdue. Haha.
I finally found the spark to the writing nerves in my brain. A simple worship song was all I needed. This moment really caught me when I least expected man. Hehs.
Anyways..just felt the need to blog about this incident. Was just reflecting on my week, and something Chewtheng (or someone, I can’t really pinpoint) said really struck and stayed with me.
Yes..I remember this now. Chewtheng said this during CG. Haha. Yea. Anyways. She was saying how money was really so in our lives. We always wish we can have more money, and especially during this age. Most of our peers right now would really be working and trying to earn as much as they can, whenever they can. And because they work full time, commit their time to it, they get really good paychecks. And after they quit, they would spend a few Ks from their salary into travelling around the world, touring with friends, enjoying life and just having the time of their lives.
And so I asked myself, I would certainly love doing that. I mean, who wouldn’t love having cash to actually spend on what you wish to buy, and being able to travel overseas. And I realised, it would certainly be the life I lead if I wasn’t in church, perhaps.
But I would get encouraged, because I know that I’m doing something that has an eternal value. Serving and building the house of God. Lives getting impacted and changed. Souls that are saved for a great destiny. And suddenly, running for the temporal loses it charm altogether.
I’m excited. Eternal life doesnt start when our lives on earth ends. It begins right here, right now, in the moment we accepted God in our lives. We don’t need to struggle and wait until we die, to enjoy God’s promises to us. It’s really right here. Take a closer look. We can only tell people God is good, when we see why He is good in our lives.
I’ve run out of things to say. The only thought that’s still here is God is good. Haha. That’s really a powerful statement to make, really. Read Ivan’s blog if you want to know why. Haha.
On a sidenote, Nicholas Chew did something really unexpected, and I’m really touched. He was in a magic shop yesterday, and remembered some of the graphic playing cards I mentioned in one of my posts. And he bought 3 of them, and just gave them to me today after service. I’m really touched. Haha. We opened one of the decks together. Don’t think I will open the other two though. Keeping them in proper storage so that they will remain in their best condition. Haha ;D I’m really glad to see him in church every week, and knowing people like Elgin, Lixing and Sean Ethan Sahai. Glad that he enjoys our church. =D
Lostboy
Haha. Intro-ed to this by Carissa. Not bad I must say ^^.
Just recieved an sms from Sam. – “Just so proud of u! U r such an impt person in this team. 
“
Felt so happy after that. Where else do you find leaders like that. They really sow into our lives, and in turn inspire us to do the same for others. Ivan, Charleston, Samantha and Sooyee. I thank God for our Pastors and leaders like them. Just really inspired to keep carrying the burden with them.
Haha. I finally found a flexible and good paying job! Gonna do some data entry for my ex-teacher’s neighbor for $7 per hour. It’s really amazing cause it’s just 3-4 days a week, which was what I really needed. I’m hoping it will be enough to help me fufill Building Fund. I feel that God already gave me an amount. Now it’s just fufilling it. Haha.
Life is great. Life is awesome.
This week is going to be another busy week. New Intro Video to be out by friday for AR Bernard’s service. I can’t wait! Haha. And then there’s the secret secret project (hehe). And also Imagine 2009!
This is what I love doing.
Love God, Love People, Love Life.
signing off,
D
